Washington Report, December 17, 1984, Page 4

Understanding the Arabs

Humphrey, Jr., comes by pretty often now, but he may be at least as interested in Miz, our feminist Person Friday, as in the Middle East. He's just Like his Daddy in one way, though. He never misses an issue of the newsletter, but no one's ever seen him pay for one!

Miz: Jr., I may someday get used to you hanging around the office but I'll never get used to your whistling.

Jr.: Oh, sorry. Uh, what was I whistling?

Miz: It seemed to be from "My Fair Lady.

The part where Henry Higgins sings "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Jr.: When I look at you, dear Miz, that sentiment is very far from my thoughts.

Miz: What, exactly, are your thoughts, Jr.?

Jr.: Well, after reading about Lebanon's civil war and the PLO meeting in this copy of your newsletter, I wonder why the Arabs can't be more like us.

Miz: If "us" means the U.S., they are.

Jr.: Come on now, Miz. In Lebanon...

Miz: Suh, Ali suspect that some of yore carpet baggin' forebears may have been present at the destruction of mah ancestral plantation house...

Jr.: Well, forget Lebanon and look at the PLO then. If Arafat weren't so busy striking poses to please his PLO constituents he'd endorse Resolution 242. Then your talk of Uncle Sam making Israel shape up might make sense. But how can the U.S. drag Israel to the peace table if Arafat says he's not coming?

Miz: So?

Jr.: So why don't the Palestinians stop taking positions that may sound great at home but which ruin their chances of getting support from the only country in the world that can rein in Israel?

Miz: When Mondale and Hart were disagreeing about who would work hardest to move our embassy to Jerusalem, was it to show U.S. respect for international law and get world support for our role as a Middle East peacemaker?

Jr.: That was election year politics, and it didn't do either of them any good anyway. But Arafat's in. Why can't he be a statesman?

Miz: Reagan's in.

Jr.: So?

Miz: So next year can we expect him to tell Israel that from now on every cent of our economic and military aid will be used solely to support peace? No more big bucks until little Israel agrees to talk peace with the Palestinians?

Jr.: Come on, Miz. No matter how good that might sound in the Middle East, it would take a lot of courage domestically.

Miz: May I remind you that you began this conversation by asking why can't the Arabs be more like Americans?

Jr.: Actually, Miz, I began this conversation by whistling as I came in to get this free, introductory copy of the newsletter.

Miz: I remember it well. But when I look at you, dear Jr., I wonder why you find it so difficult to admit that there is just a hint of similarity between the way American and Arab political leaders avoid taking statesmanlike, but domestically unpopular, political positions?

Jr.: And, when I look at you, Miz, with the soft light from the word processor screen accentuating the firm set of your jaw, and the burning intensity that shines in your eyes, I'm deeply grateful. May I take this copy with me?

Miz: Grateful that I've helped you understand how alike we all are? Of course you may.

Jr.: No, deeply grateful that women aren't more like men. So long, my little magnolia blossom. And, thanks for the newsletter.