New Term, Old Plans

Readers have asked what happened to Humphrey, the guy who used to drop into the office to chat. Well, the other day a nice-looking young fellow walked into our reception room. He looked like a junior Humphrey, but with all his hair. Later we heard our student intern talking. She's smart, and a beauty, but a little intense and into all that feminist jargon. That's why everyone calls her Miz.

Miz: May I help you, Sir?

Jr.: No thanks, Miss. I'm just browsing.

Miz: Perhaps you'd like to sit down, Sir. It's been a little disconcerting to have you just stand in front of my desk for 20 minutes.

Jr.: Gee, I'm sorry. I came to ask a question but I guess I'm a little intimidated by your ERA and NOW buttons. You're wearing them kind of, um, prominently.

Miz: Are you some kind of male chauvinist?

Jr.: Oh, golly, no. I'm just a student. In fact, that's why I'm here. Do you have free student subscriptions?

Miz: We've applied for a grant so that we can give a student rate, but so far no luck. So a year's subscription will cost you $25.

Jr.: Well, I'm kind of a writer, too. Do you have a grant for journalists?

Miz: It's filled. About the only time anyone gets a free subscription nowadays is when a constituent subscribes on behalf of his or her Congress person.

Jr.: Hey, I'm really into politics! Ambitious, too! What would that get me?

Miz: That and $25 will get you a subscription.

Jr.: Gee, my Dad has some kind of grant because he used to get a free copy whenever he came here. How did that work?

Miz: He spent a lot of time asking our former editor questions. Then the editor would hand him the current issue and tell him, "Take this home and read it!"

Jr.: Yeah, Dad's always been good at grantsmanship ... Well, I suppose you folks are really tickled at the prospect of a second-term president?

Miz: Well, if Reagan finishes a second term it would be the first time since Eisenhower finished his in 1961.

Jr.: Uh-huh. But why is that supposed to be such a big deal for the Middle East?

Miz: For years, people have been saying Mideast peace won't happen until Washington puts some muscle on Israel. And only a president who isn't worried about re-election would have the guts to do it.

Jr.: You talk pretty tough for a girl ... Do you believe that?

Miz: Israel's supporters seem to. Lots who help a candidate's first campaign switch to his opponent the next time. You didn't hear much in this election from the "neo-conservatives" who four years ago were so busy helping Reagan against Carter did you?

Jr.: I suppose the Arabs believe it, too?

Miz: They're reluctant to endorse any candidate because they know it would hurt him with American voters. But they generally talk up the incumbent among themselves. It happened with Nixon, Ford and Carter as well as Reagan.

Jr.: Well, if they're so excited about having a second-term president in the White House, how come they can't get their act together and present him with a peace plan?

Miz: They did that with the Fahd plan in 1981. The Saudis took it to a summit conference in Fez in 1982 and every Arab country attending agreed to it.

Jr.: Well, if they want Ronald Reagan to get involved they better start paying attention to his plan instead of theirs.

Miz: At the Fez summit they called the Reagan plan "promising" and in fact the only significant difference between the two plans is that the Fez plan calls for an independent Palestinian state in the West Bank, Gaza and East Jerusalem and the Reagan plan would have the Palestinians govern themselves in conjunction with Jordan.

Jr.: That's a pretty big difference...

Miz: To the Arabs, maybe, not to us. What business is it of ours whom the Palestinians choose as their leader? When the French helped us get our independence, they didn't tell us whether we should have a king or president.

Jr.: What if their president or king tries to shoot his way into Israel?

Miz: Make arms limitations part of the conditions for West Bank self-government. Anyway, both the Reagan plan and the Fez plan are based on U.N. General Assembly Resolution 242, under which the Israelis would withdraw from lands occupied in 1967 in return for Arab acknowledgement of Israel's right to exist within secure and recognized boundaries.

Jr.: You know, it's really unusual for a girl to remember all those numbers and dates...Anyway, you didn't even mention the Israeli peace plan.

Miz: What Israeli plan is that, Sir?

Jr.: You mean they're so anxious for peace that they have several?

Miz: Not exactly. I'm afraid no Israeli government has ever proposed a peace plan. Some of the small dovish Israeli parties like the one led by Shulamit Aloni—she's a woman you know—would probably agree to Resolution 242, and Golda Meir's government actually did agree to it at one time. But reasonable Israeli leaders seem to get fewer votes each election because we keep subsidizing the crazies.

Jr.: Like who?

Miz: Like the Likud of Menachem Begin and Yitzhak Shamir. They claim God gave the Jewish people a lien on the whole of Palestine. So Begin rejected the Reagan plan the day after it was announced.

Jr.: Well, Peres is the prime minister now and he can't come to the bargaining table. If he even thought about it the Likud would pull out of his government and it would fall.

Miz: If Peres is so weak he can't make any political concessions, then he certainly is too weak to do the economic belt-tightening he must if our aid is going to do any good. Let's just hold up aid until the Israelis decide to support him or elect a new government that can clean up both Israel's political and economic acts. It's the occupation of Golan and south Lebanon, as well as the settlement of the West Bank, that has ruined the country financially anyway.

Jr.: Well, I don't see why we should do anything. The status quo doesn't hurt Uncle Sam!

Miz: Sir, that's absolutely 180-degrees wrong! So long as the problem is unsolved we leave the whole area open to the Russians and alienate 800 million otherwise conservative Muslims—one -fifth of the world's population. We're spending $10 billion a year on subsidies to Israel and Egypt. We pay far more than that in additional defense costs, lost trade, and lost jobs. And we may ultimately set off a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union!

Jr.: Incredible!

Miz: Incredible that we'd take a stand so contrary to our own world-wide interests just for domestic political reasons?

Jr.: No, it's incredible how your eyes flash when you're really mad. Anyway, if the President ever tried to use economic pressure to make Israel shape up, Congress would pull the rug out from under him.

Miz: You talk pretty tough for a boy. And you missed my point about a second-term president. He can forget short-term political considerations and go for a place in the history books. The fact is, any U.S. president, first or second-term, who goes directly to the people and makes them understand that a foreign policy initiative is a matter of vital national interest will always get support. A Congress person who tries to undercut a major foreign policy initiative by a popular president is risking a real problem with his or her own constituents at election time.

Jr.: I've never met a real girl who says Congress person. I'll bet you don't like guys. Anyway, we're morally obligated to defend Israel's existence.

Miz: Israel's existence is secure under any agreement based on Resolution 242. The only real threat to its existence comes from Israeli kooks, like Sharon, whose bloody extravaganzas are funded by our government. Of course I like guys.

Jr.: If you like guys, maybe I could buy you a drink downstairs and you could disabuse me of the notion that Israel is the only dependable ally we have in the Middle East.

Miz: I know where that came from. Peres told U.S. editors last month that although Americans and Israelis are at odds politically, Israel is really our "strategic ally," taking actions in our interest that we are too squeamish to do for ourselves. He forgot to mention that in doing so Israel is undercutting every government friendly to the U.S. in the Islamic world, and upsetting our European allies as well. Anyway, I don't drink.

Jr.: If you'd let me take you out to dinner, I'm sure you could convince me that Israel isn't a strategic asset to the U.S.

Miz: I wouldn't go out with a chauvinist!

Jr.: You can pay half!

Miz: Forget it. Open this issue of our newsletter to the article on Israel as a strategic ally. Then take it home and read it!

Jr.: Gosh, thanks, Miss. Dad's right. You do give away free copies. Chiao for now!