Finding US Friends

By Aisha and Seema Ahmed

When our father told us we would be moving to Hawaii, where he would be an agricultural engineer at the East-West Center, we were sorry to leave behind our friends and cousins in Pakistan, but we were excited about living in the United States, particularly such a beautiful and glamorous state. What we didn't tell our parents, or even each other, was that we were also frightened. Since at first we kept our fears to ourselves, we will tell our stories separately.

Seema's Story

My name is Seema Ahmed and I'm a freshman at University High School in Hawaii. I'm a Muslim and at first I was a bit hesitant to tell people that because I was afraid of what they might think of me. My new friends said that my religion didn't matter to them, but I had to find out for myself.

One of my first assignments in the English class at my new school was to write a speech on one view of a controversial subject, and then present it to the class. The subject I chose was the unfairness of the American press. I said that it tries to create a stereotype that Muslims are terrible warmongers, and even tries to promote hostility between Americans and Muslims. To back my point I brought in two newspaper headlines. One read "Muslims kill 97 in Beirut," the other referred to a horrible act committed by terrorists from another religious group, but the terrorists' religion wasn't revealed in the headline. I then said that when Muslims kill people, the press goes out of its way to mention that point. But when non-Muslims kill people, their religion doesn't seem to matter.

As I read my speech, I was afraid of my teacher's and classmates' reactions. What if they thought my reasoning was unfair or irrational? What if I got an "F" on this presentation?

The next day I rushed to my English class. I wanted to find out my grade. It seemed like eternity before the teacher passed back my paper, but, when I received my paper it had a big "A" written on it! In addition, the teacher also said my speech was very good because I brought in the newspaper headlines which proved my point! I couldn't believe it—she agreed with me!

My experience taught me that not all Americans believe whatever they are told about Muslims, and they can be fair when judging us. Now I don't hesitate to tell people I'm a Muslim.

Aisha's Story:

I wanted badly to make new friends in my new home, but I was hesitant at first about entering the 1986 Hawaii Junior Miss competition. Although Hawaii is a state where everyone, even the original Hawaiians, represent some kind of minority, I felt that if I overreached, I might be singled out for unfavorable attention. I entered anyway, and although I didn't become Hawaii's Junior Miss, I went further than expected.

The Kraft Hostess Awards contest, held in conjunction with the Junior Miss competition, was the "turning point" for me. Each contestant was required to create and organize a party theme, using Kraft products. I immediately thought of a theme based on the Middle East. Visions of Sindbad the Sailor, Ali Baba, and Aladdin raced through my mind. By describing the setting of my party at the Sultan of Araby's tent—which he opens to weary travelers who stop overnight at his oasis while journeying across the desert—I felt I could show Americans the hospitality of Arab people. But then some hesitancy gripped me as I asked myself, "How will the judges react to a positive portrayal of Arabs?"

But then determination replaced my hesitancy. The only way one could change the stereotyping of Arabs was to expose Americans to these positive aspects of Arab culture.

I discussed this with my parents and my younger sister. They wholeheartedly supported my idea and it gradually became a family affair. As each day passed, my ideas became clearer, and my determination grew stronger. When that fateful day arrived, I submitted my entry, entitled "The Sultan's Feast," with pure confidence.

As I reflect on this, I realize how glad I am that I went ahead with my idea, giving Americans a positive projection of Arab culture, rather than being cowed by the aura of anti-Arab stereotyping the US media generally projects. I made new friends and, equally important, increased my respect for myself and for others. I learned that Americans are very objective people who are eager to learn of other cultures and values. I know now that the ball is in our court. We must take the initiative and present the unknown aspects of the Middle East with pride. When we do, we will find Americans to be eager learners—and friends.

P.S. I won the award!

Seema and Aisha Ahmed live in Honolulu, Hawaii.