Apply the Equality Women Are Attaining in Professional and Educational Life to Family Law

By Dr. Bouthaina Shaaban

The mere idea of challenging Western stereotypes about my identity as an Arab woman seems to me very daunting indeed. Having lived for six years in Britain and for a year in the US, I am dismayed at the unceasing reinforcement of the image of Arab women as oppressed, docile and living in harems. Even in Saudi Arabia, where women have a different position from all other Arab women, Saudi women have an equal right to education; they are teachers, writers, painters and university professors. In all other Arab countries, the position of Arab women is not very different from what is found in the West, which in my opinion is not very good.

In Syria, for example, women have equal pay, equal opportunity and equal education. Half of my students in the English department are women. Of the professors, 40 percent are women. We have women cabinet ministers, ambassadors, engineers and doctors. Of the members of the Syrian Parliament, 25 percent are women. With the exception of only two Arab countries (one being Kuwait) that I know of, Arab women have had the same right to vote as men. For 14 centuries now, Arab women have been very active in times of war and peace and in shaping the destiny of their own countries.

Having said that, I can say that the position of Arab women, like that of women the world over, is far from being absolutely equal. How can we consider American women to be truly equal if they occupy so few positions at the highest decision-making level? There are many things I would like to see changed in the situation of Arab women, so that we can give an example to the world of meaningful emancipation and equality.

The first things I would like to see changed in the Arab world are marriage and divorce laws. In the Arab culture, the family is a very important unit and the children are given an absolute priority. Hence divorce laws aim to make it difficult for partners to divorce in an effort to avoid the breakup of families. But it is more difficult for women to divorce than it is for men.

Many Arab men would argue that these laws have kept divorce rates low in the Arab world. Of course, I would love to see divorce rates low, and I love to see children grow up in healthy loving families. But what happens in reality is that families are kept together at the expense of the woman, because she is the one who has everything to lose if a divorce takes place. First, she is granted the guardianship of her children until boys are seven and girls are nine, and then they are taken over by the father or his family. I can see nothing more harmful to a child at this formative age than to be brought UP by his mother, who perhaps does not like his father, and then to move to the father, who will in turn try to re-educate him about his mother. Second, the woman is not given a place to stay with her children. Most homes are owned by men and therefore divorce means that the woman goes back to her family home or out in the street. How could a woman who has nowhere to go throw her children away and decide to be homeless? Any woman is ready to bear a good deal of hardship before deciding to face an even graver one.

Even working women cannot afford to buy or even rent an accommodation and support their children. Women usually go back to their families rather than live on their own in a society that is not used to this. I think the law says that the man should pay his divorced wife a benefit, but I think few men do. Granting women more rights in this regard does not necessarily mean a higher divorce rate. It might mean that men would think twice before asking for a divorce.

If these laws aim at keeping the family together, I think it is more important to preserve a healthy family with a happy mother who wants to stay with her husband and children, rather than an unhappy woman who has nowhere else to go. It is certainly in the interest of the children to be brought up by a proud and dignified mother rather than by one who is ready to compromise beyond reasonable limits because she knows the bleak prospects awaiting her outside of marriage.

Dr. Bouthaina Shaaban is a member of the faculty of English at the University of Damascus in Syria.