Healing the Wounds of War

By Dima Zalatimo

Some Arab Americans are disappointed in their government's selective application of international law, especially as it applies to Palestine and Lebanon. Some fear for the lives of family or friends, either civilians or members of armed forces in the Middle East. Others are troubled by recent FBI interviews of members of their community, and the resulting inference that they may not be loyal to the US, or that there may be terrorists among them.

Such are the concerns of Arabs and Arab Americans across the nation as expressed to Palestinian-American clinical psychologist Nuha Abudabbah, who hosts a weekly Arabic-language call-in show on the Arab Network of America (ANA). The "powderkeg of emotions" among the community she serves, Abudabbah explains, was dramatically illustrated by the first caller to a special ANA program in which she invited listeners to express their feelings over the air.

A "Powderkeg of Emotions"

An Iraqi woman in Detroit, one of five metropolitan areas where ANA programs are heard, explained she was alone in the US, with all of her family members in Iraq. "What can I do?" she pleaded to Abudabbah. "Please help me, say something. What can I do to stop the war? Should I burn myself, kill myself?" she cried.

"It was so heart-wrenching, " said the normally strong-willed psychologist. "I cried. My co-host, a Lebanese woman with vivid memories of war, cried. The network's chairman, a Saudi businessman, was deeply moved."

The next caller was a Kuwaiti woman who expressed her pain at seeing what had become of her country as a result of the Iraqi invasion.

"Then she added that Arabs are one people and they must stand together, " said Abudabbah. "She ended by saying that her heart went out to the Iraqi woman who had just called."

A Saudi woman called, to say she had been fasting every Tuesday and Thursday, hoping for peace. "Shouldn't our efforts be aimed at liberating Jerusalem?" she asked.

Abudabbah said the purpose of the program was to allow people to express themselves. "There is a strong need to be heard, " she said. "People in our community don't have broad access to the media. " In fact, ANA's management recognized the Arab community's agony and felt the program was a much-needed forum.

"Media coverage of the situation is very stressful," Abudabbah explains. "It is difficult to sort out facts from misinformation. Also, the loyalty of people opposed to the war is being questioned. Arab Americans are being made to feel like they have to chose, that they cannot be both Arab and American. Yet why is it okay for many Jewish Americans to have double allegiance?"

The Arab-American psychologist explains that it is difficult to be an Arab in America today. "People are scared," she explains, recalling the young Arab woman who recently told Abudabbah she lied to a friendly cab driver who inquired about the woman's nationality. Afraid to say she was of Arab origin, the woman told the driver she was Greek.

What is needed, says Abudabbah, is a structured forum for people to talk about their fears and anxieties. Hearing their troubles echoed by other people, she says, is very therapeutic.

Such forums include town meetings and support groups, which are being planned in Washington, DC and other areas with large Arab and Arab-American populations.

Children are especially vulnerable and require special attention, says Abudabbah. They not only need to express their feelings, they need reassurance that their parents will be there to protect them from confrontations at school or on the playground. They also need to feel good about their heritage.

"We have small Iraqi-American children not knowing how to express their identity," she added.

Abudabbah points out that, contrary to Western stereotypes of them, Arabs are not accustomed to expressing their deepest feelings. "There is a resistance to digging deeper than the surface, " she says. "We are always concerned with what we should or should not do and what is acceptable, rather than what we feel inside. Bottling things up tends to cause physical ailments."

"Bottling things up tends to cause physical ailments."

Such physical reactions include weakness, breathing difficulty, nausea, loss of appetite, nightmares and even substance abuse, Abudabbah explains. Intolerance, irritability, a sense of isolation, bartering with God in return for peace, confusion and frustration are all emotional reactions to crises. Abudabbah points out that such symptoms are not confined to Arab-American communities, but afflict all Americans, especially those with loved ones in the Middle East.

Prescribing Active Steps

Abudabbah prescribes active steps to enable people to cope and "take charge of their lives." She advises people who are held hostage to the television screen, a condition Abudabbah calls "CNN syndrome," to shut off the TV, or a least minimize viewing hours. People who are frustrated by coverage of events in the Middle East are advised to seek alternative sources of information. Artistic expression and political activity are constructive ways of channeling feelings. Abudabbah stresses physical activity, which releases tension and helps improve sleep and digestion. Expressing feelings to a nonjudgmental, accepting listener is also essential.

Abudabbah makes herself available for counseling sessions at her office at the Naim Foundation in Washington, DC, an organization she established in 1987 to provide affordable health services for the national capital's Arab-American community.

Current projects undertaken by the foundation, named after Abudabbah's late father, Naim Abudabbah, include a national referral directory of medical, mental health and social service providers for the Arabic speaking community in the US, and educating non-Arab health and social service providers about culturally specific needs of their Arab clients.

Dima Zalatimo is features editor of the Washington Report on Middle East Affairs.