Giving Something Up, But Gaining So Much More

By Janet McMahon

My enlightenment began five years ago when I quit smoking.

Not that I was a pro-Israeli smoker, especially following the invasion of Lebanon. I had some strong opinions: for example, if Israel chose to act on the basis of morality, I might be willing to treat it as a moral entity: however, it was acting like any other political state (particularly like the US in Vietnam, I thought), and I intended to oppose its actions as I had opposed my own country's. And I refused to be considered an anti-Semite for doing so.

For me the second point was and is particularly important, because I would not be who I am today if I hadn't moved to a largely Jewish community in seventh grade. I reached political maturity there, and became active in the civil rights and anti-war movements because my friends and teachers were aware and involved. But it was difficult to resolve the contradictions posed by the Arab-Israeli conflict, and I often felt confused. For me, "seeing the light" has been more analogous to emerging from Plato's cave than to turning on a light bulb.

When I stopped smoking on March 18, 1985, I decided to use the money I had spent on cigarettes to sponsor a child through an international children's organization. I requested a girl, wherever the need was greatest. In response, I received a picture of and information about Rania N., a seven-year old Shi'i Muslim living in the Israeli buffer zone in southern Lebanon. It became even more difficult to read the frequent newspaper accounts of Israeli raids there.

Soon afterwards, I came across The Vanished Imam by Fouad Ajami. Since the subtitle referred to the "Shia of Lebanon," and since the author is one himself, I decided to read his book. (I wouldn't have read a book on the subject by Henry Kissinger, for example.) I was amazed to read Ajami's description of the Lebanese Shi'i as "historically quiescent." I had assumed they were all "terrorists." I am grateful that I realized relatively early on that I knew abysmally little about the people and history of the Arab world, but I am still appalled by how little I knew then, and how much there is to know.

I continued to experience shocks of ignorance, for want of a better phrase. However, I must confess that I was pleased with my progress when I recently read in Hannah Arendt's Eichmann in Jerusalem that Eichmann was a Zionist. Five years ago I would have shouted, "What?" Last month I muttered, "It figures."

I have seen the light in a more literal sense as well, having lived in Cairo in 1987-88 as a student at the American University there. In Egypt, I experienced the many wonderful characteristics of the Arab people, their warmth, graciousness, and deep human concern which is such a basic element in human relations there. Before I went to the Middle East, I didn't think twice when I heard the term "Arab terrorist;" now I find it completely unacceptable and misleading. I also quickly recognize the half-truths and untruths which appear in the daily media of this country, and I am outraged.

I am still appalled by how little I knew then, and how much there is to know.

What I continue to find disconcerting is the almost accidental nature of my enlightenment: Suppose I had ended up sponsoring a child from Nepal? One's ignorance is only reinforced because there is so much written about the Middle East: a well-read and informed person can easily believe she knows what the background and issues are, an assumption one would not so readily make about Africa, for example.

In addition to its ultimate value as the popular expression of the Palestinian people, the intifada has had the added benefit of causing Americans to question their assumptions about the history and nature of the Zionist movement and their automatic support for Israel. This is a crucial first step on the road to enlightenment.

Of course, the Israeli lobby is still formidable and the media continue to project racist images of Arabs. But I believe there has been a breakthrough, however small. My hope is that the resulting shocks of ignorance Americans will experience as they learn more about the Middle East will occur in ever decreasing degrees of magnitude.

In the meantime, I think of Rania.

Janet McMahon is associate editor of the Washington Report on Middle East Affairs.