I See My Two Beloved Countries on the Verge of a Horrifying War

By Sali Qaragholi

Before August of this year, I never had a problem disclosing my birthplace. But now, since the invasion of Kuwait, I rather hesitate in admitting I was born in Iraq. It seems to me that the media has portrayed the situation in such a way that people get the impression of Iraqis as bloodthirsty people seeking to gain from a smaller country's misfortune. It is a fact that most see Saddam Hussain in this fashion, and isn't a leader, after all, viewed as both a product and a reflection of his society and culture?

My purpose is to give the Iraqi point of view—something one doesn't really see on CNN; and if it is presented on television, then it is portrayed in such a way that it only results in aggravating the already negative American sentiment.

I am privileged, in a sense, for I've been on both sides of the fence. I've lived in the United States most of my life and have come to regard it as my home. In fact, my family and I still recall with gratitude how warmly we were received in the US and how people here made us feel a part of their community—not like unwelcome foreigners.

A Warm Welcome From America

We always recall with particular emotion the day I came home to tell my parents what my teacher had said to me at school that day. She had taken me aside to ask what my father did for a living. I had replied that he did not work, for at the time he had not yet found a job. She then proceeded to offer me free meals at school. I thanked her and said I would tell my parents.

When they heard about the goodwill of my teacher, they were both very touched. I still recall the tears that sprang to my mother's eyes, at the kindness with which the American people were treating us. And yet my father replied, "Tell your teacher, thank you very much, but that won't be necessary."

When I asked him why, he responded: "Sali, if we take this meal, it would mean that we would be depriving another, truly needy child. " I did not take the meal, but we have never forgotten this incident.

This kindness of the American people, in fact, is one of the many reasons we love this country and feel such warmth for it. At the same time; I cannot forget where I am from, for it has played an integral role in shaping the individual I am today. I am grateful to both of my homelands. Both have taught me. Both have cared for me. I am the child of both.

In this sense, I am privileged. But I am unfortunate, as well. For I see and feel what many cannot. I see my two beloved countries on the verge of war. I see both of my peoples ready to lash out at each other when, in truth, they are the most natural of allies.

The interest of the United States would be well served by good relations with Iraq, for it possesses vast reserves of oil that the US needs. Conversely, the US has the largest reserves in the entire free world of creativity, technology, and its vast wealth of education. Iraq could teach the US to understand the Arab mentality and thus help it to improve its relations in the Middle East. The US, on the other hand, can instruct Iraq on the advantages of democracy, freedom of the press, and freedom of speech. Both countries are in dire need of what the other possesses—if they act upon it they could complement each other.

Observing From the Inside

Having offered my two-cents' worth on the political advantages of friendship, allow me to proceed directly to the heart of the Middle East, breaking through Arab stereotypes and observing the people from the inside.

The people of Iraq, as is typical in that part of the world, live in a very moralistic society. Things there are pictured in black and white. There is right and there is wrong. There is also a tremendous feeling of injustice—injustice inflicted upon them by Western governments.

Instead of furthering Iraq's interests in return for Iraqi oil, they feel that Britain depleted the country of its resources, and split the Arab world into spheres of influence—the very old technique of divide-and conquer. Arabs have felt the pain of this transgression for generations, and cannot bring themselves to forgive the West. Indeed, no apology has been offered.

As a society, the Iraqis are a very warm, hospitable people. With one another, they behave as family. Everyone is either "Uncle" or "Aunt"—whether the individual is actually your aunt or uncle, whether you've known the particular individual for years, or whether he or she is a total stranger.

I clearly recall an incident when I was last in Baghdad, five years ago. My aunt, cousins and I were in the car driving to the house of a friend whom we had never before visited. We got lost along the way. My aunt stopped the car, and my cousin popped her head out to ask a woman walking on the street for directions. I remember her saying, "Aunt, do you know how to get to such and such a road?" And then, once having been given the directions, "Thank you very much, Aunt."

Since the invasion of Kuwait, I rather hesitate in admitting I was born in Iraq.

Although I grew up in Baghdad until I was seven, I had forgotten that part of life there is this tremendous warmth and family-like relationship with everyone around you. I added that to my mental catalogue of the similarities and the differences between my two cultures, the American and Iraqi: Both peoples are warm and friendly, and yet there are differences in the way the two peoples express these qualities.

Although Iraq is a second or third world country (depending on your particular conception of these terms), there are a lot of advantages to life there. Crime is insignificant compared to that in the US, and rape is almost unthinkable. A person feels safe there. By contrast, as a city dweller, I can't remember the last time I felt totally safe and secure in the US.

As well, life in some major respects is easier in Iraq for the average individual than it is in the US. Although Iraq is not a rich country, it provides its people with free hospitals and free universities, so that the poor have access to good education and medical care, and are not shut out by virtue of enormous health insurance costs.

Thus, although most Iraqis live at a much lower standard of living than their American counterparts (at about a lower-middle class level), they simultaneously have securities denied the poor in the US.

Further, if a son, for example, is not financially independent when he marries, it is common for him to live at home until he has saved enough money to make it on his own. In the US, such familial support is not always taken for granted.

An interesting fact of which few Americans are aware is that anyone in Iraq who has a complaint can take it straight to a government-appointed committee. The committee listens to the individual's problem or problems and tries to resolve them. If it cannot, the Iraqi individual can even meet with the president if he or she feels the need to have a personal interview in which to voice the grievance.

On the negative side, ambition among Iraqis is lacking compared to Americans. After a bloody eight-year war with Iran, the Iraqi people were worn out, exhausted and severely depressed. Every family had lost at least one person in the war. Iraqis could hardly believe that the war was over, that they could finally live in peace and begin to rebuild shattered lives. Then, only two years later they have to begin all over again, preparing for another possible war.

People in Iraq are not happy to have their young sons dying again. So much destruction has already occurred. There has been so much death and bloodshed. They don't want war, but at the same time they are not being given a chance to be heard or to find a way out. The only offer they've received is, get out and then we'll talk. They want to know, before they move, what they will be talking about and whether anything will really be done about their grievances.

A Double Standard

They see before them a double standard, enacted by the West solely for them. They might respect a UN resolution had all other UN resolutions been supported so insistently and with such fervor. But, unfortunately, this has not been the case, particularly in the Middle East.

Obviously, I've given only one point of view in this matter. It is my purpose to do so because the American public is already aware of the points of view of the Kuwaitis, of other members of the international community, and certainly of their own government.

It is true that politics can be ugly and inhumane. We must focus, however, on the lives at stake. Thousands should not have to be sacrificed for yet another conflict between political leaders.

We Iraqis are people with families, children, hopes, and dreams of our own. We do not want our country and our homes and our loved ones burned to ashes. We want peace.

We Americans are people with aspirations, lives to fulfill, children and families to love and nurture. We do not want our sons killed in a foreign land. We want peace.

My question, therefore, is a cry from the heart, a scream of anguish and pain. How can two peoples so inherently good, so warm, so desirous of peace, be on the verge of such a harrowing, horrifying war?

Sali Qaragholi is a student at Cornell University in Ithaca, NY